The Phynx is a uniquely bizarre film from 1970 with a tiny cult

 

Review by Doug Gibson

The Phynx, 1970, from Warner Brothers, is a cult film, albeit with a very tiny cult. It is both jaw-droppingly bad and completely-bizarre unique. I've watched it five times and it's progressed from a total disaster to hey, there's a little bit of fun here. This film had a smidgen of potential to be an extended Laugh In-type gem parody. But it was made by big-studio executives, who had their own idea of how to interpret and capture the youth enthusiasm of the '60s. It was fated to bomb.

Super secret United States intelligence professionals are trying to rescue a lot of aging celebrities and stars who have been kidnapped by Albania. Their efforts, helmed by a Waylon Smithers-type agent named Corrigan, have been failures.

So, Corrigan's superior, named Bogey, played by Michael Kellin, who has the worst Humphrey Bogart accent you'll ever hear, gathers a confab of all the U.S. secret agents. There are Boy Scout agents, prostitute agents, Ku Klux Klan agents, you get the idea. There's also the big leader, the president, who wears a box over his head. He's played by Rich Little. 

Eventually it's decided to consult a machine called MOTHA. It is, forced laughter, shaped like a woman. Asked for a solution, its computer mind bubbles in her two metallic breasts and the answer, on a slip of paper, shoots out of MOTHA's ... ahem ... middle section. This is not a subtle movie.

The answer is to form a rock group called The Phynx, and both prepare these four band mates to be the most popular singing group in the world and highly trained agents able to rescue the hostages in Albania.

So four ordinary 60s young guys are kidnapped and taken to a military base where Bogey tells them the situation. One of their trainers is a young Richard Pryor.

To mercifully move this ahead, the Phynx become the number one rock group in the world, despite really terrible songs. I don't think the filmmakers intended for the band to stink, they just do. Some of the ways the Phynx get to the top involve infiltrating record stores, putting a gun to Milton Berle's head (another cameo) and having the president change Thanksgiving to Phynxsgiving (I'm not making that up). Through mass marketing and publicity, they've also made the four singers sex symbols. 

The captives cum secret agents also get military training. In one unfunny sequence, a military instructor blows himself up.

The boys start to grumble about lack of female intimacy. So they are allowed an orgy, with Bogey uttering these unforgettable words, "Gentlemen, the United States government is pleased to announce an orgy!" ... It's pretty tame, lots of flesh covered by bikinis, somewhere between PG and PG-13. The Phynx was rated GP. I remember GP. It was below R, an ugly malformed cousin to what would morph into PG a decade-plus later.

There is a creepy, not-good scene after the "orgy" where Corrigan (who plays the sexually frustrated one in this film) picking up the orgy women with a --- I am not making this up -- forklift and dumping them outside the orgy warehouse. The women appear to be sleeping or unconscious. 

Meanwhile, there are still more celebrity kidnapping to Albania, with news reports. The Phynx is big on news reports, and montages with dippy doo-dwop music inappropriate for the late 1960s. Finally, the four members of The Phynx are ready for their mission. But they do not exactly know where to go in Albania.

In a staggeringly unfunny scene, a female secret agent (played by Martha Raye) arrives to provide the information. But Bogey stupidly shoots her through a hotel door, mortally wounding her. Before she dies, she informs the quartet that a map -- in three parts -- is tattoed on the tummies of three girls.

So, through London and Copenhagen, the Phynx embarks of thousands of sexual (PG remember) encounters with women searching for the tatooed tummies. They find two, one tummy belongs to Russ Meyer starlet Susan Bernard. In France, the tired overcopulating Phynx are allowed to wear glasses that can see through exterior clothes. This leads to a few unfunny scenes with The Phynx leering, putting on glasses ... However, the glasses don't work when one tries to peek at a nun. But they find all three tummies, put the map together and head to Albania.

The Phynx are so globally popular they're actually welcomed to perform. Once there, they discover the communist dictator is not really the culprit. It's a military officer (played by Michael Ansara) who has gone a bit crazy. He has the only military tank, so he can assert his will and keep the hostages, and the president, his wife, and their very weird son at bay. The Phynx have dinner with the powerless first family. The first lady is played by Joan Blondell, a pre-code sexy star in the '30s. She had a long career beyond the '30s. Blondell is the only non-cameo star of this film who gives a good performance. She's bubbly, witty, and has good comic timing.

So, the Phynx are introduced to all the hostages taken by Albania. They enter a ballroom like it's the Academy Awards. You can read all of the names at the Wikipedia page. They include Dorothy Lamour, Xavier Cugar, Colonel Sanders, Rona Barrett (I remember her), Johnny Weismuller, Maureen O'Hara, Pat O'Brien, Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, former boxing champ Joe Louis, Dick Clark, Guy Lombardo, Busby Berkeley, Andy Devine, Butterfly McQueen (Prissy in Gone With the Wind), Ruby Keeler, Patsy Kelly, George Jessell, and more. It's almost like if Hollywood Squares multiplied 25 or so times.

The plot is mostly out the window, and The Phynx and captives think of ways to escape. I won't give it away, but they follow Huntz Hall's suggestion. Seeing Gorcey and Hall together is bittersweet, given their long association. Gorcey died before The Phynx was released.

The next morning the film's climax occurs. Watch it to see the end. It's a $2.99 rental at YouTube. It occasionally shows up on TCM, I believe first as a now-defunct TCM Underground offering. Warner Brothers finally released a DVD roughly a decade ago. Evidence of the film's tiny cult is that for decades fans/collectors would haunt trade shows or more shadowy sellers trying to buy bootleg copies of the film. For a long time, Warner Brothers just wanted to forget about this monetary disaster.

There was a small effort to promote The Phynx, although executives, who could watch dailies, rough cuts and previews, must have been aware the film was a turkey. My friend, David Grudt combed though newspaper archives and found the clips you see on this post, originally published in 1970 in the Indianapolis Star. The top clip promises a "world premiere" and mentions a "Rock and Roll Phynx contest." That must have been a big hit. (sarcasm intended) The second clip shows many of the guest stars and cameos in The Phynx. Poor Joe Louis gets his name misspelled.

So there was publicity for the film, an effort was made. It was all for naught. As then-UPI columnist Vernon notes in our final clip, "The Phynx was released in Indianapolis for two weeks and not seen again."

Despite its many faults, The Phynx, like any cult film, gets better the more you watch it. Despite being far more like Skidoo than Head, the film can bring the occasional smile.

NOTES: The best part of the film is when the has-been celebrities appear and we get to hear their banter. Some is witty. Pat O'Brien observes that if he had played the Gipper in Knute Rockne All-American, the 1940 classic, he'd be in Sacramento. That's a dated but funny gag as Ronald Reagan, who played The Gipper, was governor of California at the time. Reagan, of course, later became U.S. president. O'Brien played Rockne in the film. Another bittersweet funny gag is Joe Louis pointing out one advantage of being in Albania was there's no income tax. The joke has time-era relevance as Louis was hounded by tax authorities after his career for not paying taxes. Finally, maybe the best line is former Tarzan Johnny Weismuller turning to former Jane Maureen O'Sullivan, and saying, "Me Tarzan. You Jane." Despite the popularity of the quote, Weismuller never said that in a Tarzan film. The Phynx were played by A "Michael" Miller, Ray Chippeway, Dennis Larden, and Lonny Stevens. They are forgotten today. Only Larden had any marginal success singing, and it was before The Phynx. He was part of a group called Every Mother's Son that scored a hit with "Come on Down to My Boat." The group disbanded in 1968.

Hurray for 'Hollywood Hotel'

Review by Doug Gibson

I love the opening scene in "Hollywood Hotel," 1937, in which a perky, cute, girl next door type of hotel operator brightly says, "Hollywood Hotel!" The unnamed actress, in a few scenes, captures the innocent energy of this ensemble musical.

"Hollywood Hotel" is best known as the film that first featured the iconic song, "Hurray for Hollywood." The Busby Berkeley-directed film, lots of songs and Benny Goodman's band, is one of the type of films that were popular in the first decade after talkies replaced silent -- the upbeat, girl and guy makes good musicals with literally dozens of stars, billed and unbilled, in the cast. These films likely cheered up Depression era audiences, allowing escapism.

The plot involves handsome saxophonist Ronny Bowers (Dick Powell) who gets a 10-week contract from All-Star Pictures. He gets a great send off and once in Tinsel Town is shuffled aside. After Ronnie is used to be the escort of a stand in actress (Rosemary Lane) impersonating a temperamental star (Lois Lane) who won't go to her premiere, he's fired and paid off  by the studio after the angry star learns of the deception.

"Hollywood Hotel," however, is one of those films in which you know all's going to turn out well in the end. Ronnie becomes a singing waiter. He and the stand in are already falling in love, and a plan is hatched to make Bowers a star. He's allied in this by wisecracking, often disparaged photographer Fuzzy Boyle, played by the great Ted Healy, who tries his hand at being an agent to help Ronnie. 

Eventually, the path to stardom for Ronnie begins with an appearance at a popular radio show called Hollywood Hotel, hosted by Louella Parsons. Hollywood Hotel was a real show with actors recreating scenes. Parsons plays herself in the film.

I won't give away the rest of the plot except to say that at the end, Ronnie is re-signed by All Star Pictures at a higher salary! As mentioned, there are guest appearances galore by stars. I enjoyed seeing a pre-star Ronald Reagan as a radio broadcaster and veteran comedy character actor Hugh Herbert, with his "woo woos," as the temperamental star's father.

TED HEALY SHINES

But my favorite character in the film, and the reason I'm reviewing it, is Ted Healy's Fuzzy Boyle, celebrity photographer turned celebrity agent. His comedy relief is more appropriate in this type of film than his still talented turn in the truly horrifying pre-code horror "Mad Love." He's wonderful in the role, with crackling dialogue and strong comic timing. An example is an early scene where photographer Boyle uses his wit to con his way past a guard who wants to keep him away from a celebrity shoot. The scene is as polished as any comedy team's best work and I wonder if Healy had honed such a scene long ago on vaudeville. Scenes of Healy loyally working the waiting tables with Bowers and trying to boost his career are very entertaining. So are his scenes as an unenthusiastic potential romantic partner of the strikingly odd but funny actress Mabel Todd. Attractive blonde Glenda Farrell also has a small role.

The one drawback is that Healy, still a young 40, looks 10 years older. He would die soon after his 41st birthday in December 1937. He was beaten badly in a brawl while out on the town. For years it was suspected that his injuries killed him. However, it is more likely that years of hard living and neglected health contributed more to his death. Healy biographer Bill Cassara noted in his recent biography that kidney failure was a major cause of his death.

UPDATE! Bill Cassara, in a mention on a Facebook post, has provided the answer to who plays the Hollywood Hotel operator: (she's actually in the credits).

"And now the "mystery woman" of the opening seconds can be revealed: It was Duane Thompson who also started off the radio program of "Hollywood Hotel" with the same cheerful opening. For Vernon Dent fans, she used to be Vernon's little leading lady when he starred in the Folly Comedies back in 1921. Her stage name then was 'Violet Joy.'" ... ME: I wasn't looking for the name Duane.

Below, watch the opening scene of "Hollywood Hotel, along with the pretty telephone operator.

Harry Langdon, Irene Ryan add comedy to 1940s B-film Hot Rhythm

By Doug Gibson

Hot Rhythm, 1944, Monogram studio, 79 minutes, black and white. Directed by William Beaudine. Starring Dona Drake as Mary Adams, Tim Ryan as Mr. O'Hara, Irene Ryan as Polly Kane, Robert Lowery as Jimmy O'Brien, Harry Langdon as Mr. Whiffle, Sidney Miller as Sammy Rubin, Jerry Cooper as Tommy Taylor, and Robert Kent as Herman Strohbach. Rating: 6.5 stars out of 10.

"Hot Rhythm" is a mostly forgotten poverty-row B feature from the mid 1940s. I was fortunate enough to catch it on Turner Classic Movies recently. Whatever interest remains of it is mainly because if features comedy legend Harry Langdon in a supporting role. Langdon would die in late 1944 and by then his film roles were a mix of starring Columbia comedy shorts and character roles, usually comic, in low-budget features.

As it stands, "Hot Rhythm" is a pleasant time-waster that spoofs the music industry of that era. The plot involves small-scale starlet Dona Drake as "Mary Adams," a young singer with high hopes toiling as a jingles warbler for ads. A very small-scale executive in the music company, Robert Lowery, as "Jimmy O'Brien," falls for her and records a song for her. Because he's inflating his importance to "Mary," Jimmy adds Mary's voice to a well-known band led by "Tommy Taylor" (Jerry Cooper). 

This all leads to chaos as the music's company's blustery owner, "Mr. O'Hara," wonderfully played by Tim Ryan, sends out the recording, then, fearing he's plagiarized, tries to hastily recoup the records. Mary gets fed up with Jimmy's lies, but still kind of likes him. 

Irene Ryan, better known 20 years later as "Granny" on "The Beverly Hillbillies," provides very heavy comic relief as a scatterbrained temporary secretary to Mr. O'Hara, "Polly." Through a series of misadventures, she manages to provide background singing to a song. When Mr. O'Hara is desperately trying to discover Mary Adams' identity, Polly assumes he's talking about her. She's hired and actually gets a record contract. Initially, Polly's singing stinks, but she later delivers a nice, understated version of "The Happiest Girl In the World," justifying her surprising contract.

Irene Ryan is a talented comedian, and she works well with Tim Ryan, who was briefly her real-life husband, but a little of her can go a long way. I'm surprised she never had a career at Columbia as a shorts comedy star. More subtle in his humor than Ryan is the comic legend, Langdon, who plays "Mr. Whiffle," Mr. O'Hara's personal assistant. Langdon's best scene is when he stands in for a medicine tonic ad that won't fizz, then fizzes too much. With perfect comic timing, Langdon reacts to the situation, trying to put the fizzy glass in his suit pockets at one point. In a couple of scenes, Langdon and Irene Ryan use their comic skills to good result.

Alas, this is not a "Harry Langdon film," and his character disappears midway through the film, and does not return.

Dona Drake is a gorgeous actress who sort of resembles Ava Gardner and she has a good singing voice. A couple of the songs include "Where Were You" and "Right Under My Nose." Lowery has middling leading man charisma as her main suitor but there's very little chemistry between the romantic leads. This is mostly Drake's fault; her acting skills are mediocre and she radiates no romantic interest in Lowery.

As mentioned, though, this is a fun film and probably very indicative of the types of movies that one could see prior to the "A" film at the local movie theater 70 years ago. It's lighthearted and doesn't have an ounce of malice in it. Viewers will enjoy Drake's beauty, some good songs as well as the comic skills of Tim Ryan, Harry Langdon and Irene Ryan (Below).