The Magic Sword – A fantasy adventure from director Bert I. Gordon

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At a time in the 1960s when Italian sword and sandal action films dominated the drive-in movie screens, American director Bert I. Gordon created this medieval fantasy adventure epic – The Magic Sword (1962). Gordon was known for films depicting giants, usually as a result of atomic radiation, such as a giant spider, giant grasshoppers, giant ants, a giant man in diapers, and even giant teenagers. The Magic Sword is considered by many of Gordon's fans as his best and most ambitious film. From a technical filmmaking and storytelling perspective, The Magic Sword is Gordon's best film.

Princess Helene (Anne Helm) has disappeared without a trace. Lodac the wizard, played brilliantly by Basil Rathbone, has kidnapped the princess. He appears before Helene's father, the king (Merritt Stone), and demands revenge for the king's father executing his sister at the age of 18 for witchcraft. Lodac releases seven curses on the land and threatens to feed the princess to his dragon in seven days. One of the king's knights – Sir Branton (Liam Sullivan), sets out to rescue the princess so he can marry her. Lodac warns that it will not be easy for Branton and his men to find his castle where the princess is being held in a cell.

Meanwhile, sorceress Sybil, played by Estelle Winwood, is foster mother to Sir George (Gary Lockwood), who will not allow George to leave their home until he is twenty-one and in the possession of a magic sword and a strong white horse. George wants to leave their home so he can rescue princess Helena first, and win her love. George tricks Sybil into getting trapped in an underground cavern so he can leave with the magic sword and white horse to find the princess. George assembles six brave knights to follow him on his journey to find the princess.

Sir George and his six knights appear before the king at his castle. George tells the king that he wants to save the princess, but sir Branton insists that he will be the one to rescue the princess and marry her. Branton challenges George to a duel, but his sword is broken across George's chest as he strikes him.

The Magic Sword is filled with many interesting set pieces and well done special effects for 1962. Brandon, George and their knights encounter a forest of dead trees and a giant man eating ogre. The forest is filled with bubbling lava pits. The knights battle the giant with spears. George attempts to rescue a knight who has fallen into a hot lava pit. While rescuing the knight, George is pushed into the pit by Branton.

Another set piece shows cone headed humans in a castle feasting at a table while the eyes of stone gargoyles move back and forth near a fireplace mantle. The princess encounters a hanging cage of midgets when she wanders away from her cell. An uncredited appearance by midget actor Angelo Rossitto happens during a scene in princess Helene's cell. Cult actress Maila Nurmi, known for her iconic role of Vampira on TV in the 1950s and Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959), appears in the film as a hag. Another cult actor, Richard Kiel, plays a pinhead character.

Director Gordon saves his best set piece and special effect for the ending of the film when Sir George frees Princess Helene from a two headed fire breathing dragon. George battles the dragon with his magic sword. This final scene shows the connection of the Magic Sword to the story of St. George and The Dragon. Helene and George are married and everyone lives happily ever after, just like in a fairytale story. The film was also marketed as La Espada Magica, St. George and The Dragon, St. George and The Seven Curses, The Seven Curses of Lodac, Happy viewing. 

(The Magic Sword is available at many online locations. A great print is at Tubi. It is also on Amazon Prime. And here's a link to a You Tube print.)

Reviewed by Steve D. Stones

The Phantom Planet: Low-budget, corny, enjoyable space opera

By Doug Gibson

"The Phantom Planet" is a 1961 low-budget space opera that is often mocked for its special effects and melodramatic plot. In fact, the 'bots on MST3K have spoofed it. Nevertheless, I find it a lot of fun. It is part of that endearing 1960s genre of low-budget space exploration films that are too ambitious for their plots. Films such as "Space Probe Taurus" and "The Wizard of Mars" come to mind.

"The Phantom Planet" takes place in 1986 and involves space ships out probing outer space for life. Some U.S. spaceships are disappearing so a new team is sent out. The two-man team is sucked toward a mysterious planet. One of the crew dies but Captain Frank Chapman (Dean Fredericks) survives. He lands on the planet Raydon, where everyone is 6 inches tall or so. He instantly become the same size,due to the weird atmosphere. 

Eventually Frank learns that Raydon is a planet trying to keep to itself and avoid conflict. One assumes there are a lot of people there but you never see more than a dozen or so Raydonians. There are a couple of beautiful sisters and Chapman is offered to choose one as a mate. I must add there is a sort of "Me Tarzan, You Jane" aspect to relations in this film that was common in these genre space operas.

 Eventually, after a few personality conflicts Frank bands together with the Raydonians to fight the planet's enemies, the Solarites. A Solarite is a rather gross, tall chicken-type creature. The budget only allows for one (played by Richard Kiel of Eegah fame) and he proves easy to vanquish. Frank falls in love with a beautiful Raydon girl (starlet Dolores Faith) and frets whether he should return to Earth. I'll spare future plot details to those who want to see this film. 

It's a fun time-waster. It slows a bit in the middle when Frank gets to Raydon and is out of the space craft, but the pace picks up at the end. All the genre fun is there: bizarre-looking space monsters, "popcorn-type" meteorites seen through a space capsule window, teeny tiny spaceship models moving clumsily through "space." It's corny but entertaining, what more can you ask of 90 minutes!

 

 The film is easy to find. It is in black and white although I just saw a colorized version courtesy of Legend Films. It was directed by William Marshall, a 1940s "big band" star who became an actor. One of his wives was Ginger Rogers. Former silent film star Francis X. Bushman played the Raydon leader. Hugo Grimaldi, who later helmed the cultish "The Human Duplicators," was part of the production.

Eegah! - A Prehistoric Caveman Cult Epic

Review by Steve D. Stones

If you're new to the cult of watching bad movies, Eegah may not be the film to get your feet wet with for the first time. As bad as it is, it does improve with repeated viewings and its flaws greatly add to the humor and charm of its badness. The father-son filmmakers of Arch Hall Sr. and Arch Hall Jr. team up to create this outrageous epic caveman movie.

Arch Hall Jr. plays teenage heartthrob Tom Nelson, who works as a gas station attendant, sings in a rock band and dates raven haired beauty Roxy Miller, played by Marilyn Manning. Roxy encounters a giant caveman, played by Richard Kiel, on the highway while rushing home one night. She reports this incident to Tom and her father Robert Miller, played by Arch Hall Sr. Both find her report of the caveman unbelievable.

The trio drive out to the desert highway the next morning and find giant footprints on the desert floor near a place called Shadow Mountain. Roxy's father decides to investigate further by flying a helicopter into Deep Canyon near Shadow Mountain to find the prehistoric man. Miller hopes to find the giant and take a photograph while encountering the caveman.

The pilot who took Miller to Deep Canyon informs Tom that he will not be able to pick up Miller at the scheduled time. Tom and Roxy drive out to the desert in Tom's dune buggy to find Miller.

After no luck in finding Miller, Tom and Roxy camp out on the desert floor near the dune buggy. Here Tom sings a terrible song about a girl named Valerie. In a previous scene, he sang a song about a girl named Vicky. He seems to like singing songs about every girl but Roxy. Roxy doesn't seem too concerned about it, although she does ask who Valerie is.

The next morning, Tom leaves the camp to look for Miller. He takes a shotgun with him, but leaves Roxy behind. The caveman kidnaps Roxy at the camp and takes her to his hillside cave. Here we discover Miller in the cave with a broken collar bone and arm. Miller has named the caveman – Eegah.

What unfolds next is one of the most absurd, terrible sequences in the film, if not the worst in the history of cinema itself. Roxy attempts to communicate with Eegah, but fails miserably, as he continually tries to touch her. She even shaves the prehistoric man with a razor and shave cream. The dialogue in this sequence is hilarious and downright awful.

Watch for young cult director Ray Dennis Steckler, a friend at the time to Hall Jr., in a scene near the end of the film making out with his wife Carolyn Brandt near a swimming pool just before Eegah throws him into the pool. Eegah too finds himself in the pool after the police arrive and shoot him dead as he makes a big splash.

In my opinion, Eegah might just be a better film if all the sequences of Arch Hall Jr. lip syncing songs about girls were cut out, and if the poorly acted and written sequence of actress Marilyn Manning trying to communicate in the cave with Eegah was also cut from the film. However, if these scenes were cut from the film, would Eegah still have its strange cult appeal? Not very likely.

Eegah has gained a strong following in recent years, thanks to the Mystery Science Theater 3000www and Elvira's Movie Macabre treatments of the film. The film was also discussed in Harry and Michael Medved's book – The Fifty Worst Films of All Time. Happy viewing.

Oogah, oogha Eegah!

Eegah

Eegah, 1962, 90 minutes, directed by Nicholas Merriwether (Arch Hall Sr.) Starring William Watters (Arch Hall Sr.), Arch Hall Jr., Marilyn Manning, Richard Kiel, Ray Dennis Steckler. Color. Schlock-Meter rating: ******* out of 10 stars.

Eegah is a rotten movie. Let’s make that clear right away. So why does it merit 7 stars. Because it’s so much fun to watch (and laugh at). The plot involves a prehistoric ageless giant (Richard Kiel, who later gained fame as “Jaws” of the James Bond films) who invades Palm Springs. This giant has the hots for Roxie, a pretty, adult woman (Marilyn Manning) who “acts” in the movie as a teen queen. Her boyfriend is an ugly 16-year-old kid named Tommy (Arch Hall Jr.) who sings with no talent. Hovering around is Roxie’s dad (Arch Hall Sr.) and some talentless extras.

The acting is worse than anything Ed Wood ever did. The direction is pathetic. You feel pity for the ugly Arch Hall Jr., who as star is being asked to carry a film. He fails. There’s no sparks between this ugly runt and his supposed girlfriend, and that’s not surprising since she must be five years old than him. Marilyn Manning also can’t act. When the caveman “Eegah” has her trapped in a cave with rape on his mind, a smile never leaves her face and she cracks tasteless jokes. One can understand her interest in the 7-foot-plus Kiel, since he’s a far better catch than Tommy.

In the end, when Eegah invades Palm Springs, grunting and bellowing for his Roxie, he attracts less attention than a middle class matron window shopping in Beverly Hills. Extras smirk as Eegah “chases” them through old motels and dingy restaurants. Eventually, a cop, bored with the whole act, shoots Eegah at a pool party, killing him.

Yet, Eegah is worth a rental, and the MST3K version is a scream. It’s so bad it’s funny, and viewers find themselves drawn into the movie, waiting for the next scene of bad dialogue, inept acting, poor singing, horrible special effects and mediocre editing. In fact, this film grossed over a million dollars in the 1960s and was a big hit on the drive-in circuit, according to Arch Hall Sr.

--Doug Gibson

The '60s space opera The Human Duplicators

The Human Duplicators, 1965, 80 minutes, color, directed by Hugo Grimaldi. Starring George Nader as Glenn Martin, Richard Kiel as Dr. Kolos, Dolores Faith as Lisa, Barbara Nichols as Gale Wilson, Hugh Beaumont as Austin Welles. Schlock-Meter rating: 7 stars out of 10.

“The Human Duplicators” is an absolutely funny movie. It boasts horrible, funny special effects, an Outer-Space android villain (Kiel) who speaks like a surfer valley boy in California, a blind “girl” who is clearly an adult (Faith), and the worst performance ever by a female secret agent (Nichols).

The plot: Kiel is sent from another planet to take over from an earth scientist the creation of android duplicates of humans. He takes over the scientist’s house and laboratory and turns everyone into androids, except the blind “girl,” who he develops a crush on. Two government secret agents (Nader and Nichols) are called in when one of the androids crashes a secret government agency (which looks a lot like a motel) and creates havoc. The androids appear to be made of porcelain, since they crack into pieces when they stumble.

Eventually, Kiel turns traitor to his cause, battles the androids he has created and saves the day. In a scene meant to bring tears, he returns home to be destroyed, (or perhaps receive a new voice accent). There is one cool scene where secret agent Nader escapes from a dungeon and has to battle his android, himself.

A real treat: Late in the movie, during an action sequence, a cameraman filming from the outside can clearly be seen. As mentioned, Nichols, who also plays Nader’s girlfriend, is pathetic. This high-level government agent boasts a terrible New York accent that Fran Drescher would spurn. Also, her giggling cutie-pie persona and annoying nasal whine makes her more suitable for burlesque than the CIA.

However, this is one of those truly “so-bad-it’s entertaining” cult fiascoes and is worth a rental. The MS3K version adds to the hilarity. Notes: “Leave It to Beavers” Hugh Beaumont has a small role as a government agents and 60s actress Margot Teele, who often played “sexpots” in The Andy Griffith Show and Gomer Pyle USMC, has a small role as a lab assistant/android. Faith starred in another Grimaldi film, "Mutiny in Outer Space."

-- Doug Gibson