Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny ... seriously

By Steve D. Stones

I thought I had seen all the terrible Christmas movies to be watched, until I recently saw “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny.” The folks at RiffTrax, formerly Mystery Science Theatre 3000, provided hilarious commentary about the film on the evening of Thursday December 3. Without their commentary, I may have walked out of the theatre. The movie is so bad that it is not listed in any film encyclopedia I own. No film critic seems to be anxious to write about “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny.” It is on the Internet Movie Database.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny at IMDB

Somehow Santa ends up stranded on the beaches of Florida soaking up the sun in his sleigh. His reindeer have abandoned him. He calls on some local children to help him get his sleigh back in operation. Each child is called by their name, except one little girl Santa calls "Kid." The children bring farm animals one by one to try and attach to Santa's sleigh. None of the farm animals, including a sheep and donkey, wants to be hitched to the sleigh.

The children suggest that Santa take a plane back to the North Pole, but he refuses to leave his sleigh abandoned. He complains about the Florida heat and sheds some of his clothing. Since Santa's sleigh is empty, the viewer is confused as to whether or not Christmas is over, or if Santa is just behind in delivering presents to children for Christmas.

With the failed attempt to get his sleigh in operation, Santa decides to take a rest and tell the children a story. Suddenly, the movie abruptly shifts to the story of Jack and The Beanstalk. This sequence was produced by Barry Mahon, a director who made soft-core sex features and films about fairy tales appealing to children. Other prints of “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny” insert Mahon's Thumbelina (1970).

Jack purchases some seeds from Honest John — a cow salesman. Jack lives in a land where everyone is dressed like the Partridge Family. What follows is a series of bad musical performances by little Jack and the giant he steals a golden goose and harp from. Jack stands in front of out-of-focus, rear-projected images of the giant as he attempts to steal the poorly sculpted paper mache goose and harp on the table in front of the sleeping giant.

As the story of Jack and The Beanstalk finishes, Santa reappears on the Florida beach with the children. Suddenly, an antique fire truck driven by someone in a bad bunny costume appears to take Santa back to the North Pole.

This ice cream bunny makes the evil bunny in “Donnie Darko” (2001) look like the Trix rabbit or Bugs Bunny. He drives the fire truck like a drunken clown, nearly running over a dog and steering into pot holes. The most freaky part is when the bunny winks at a little girl who runs up to him after the fire truck arrives on the beach.

Before “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny,” RiffTrax screened three Christmas shorts — “Santa Claus's Story,” “The Tales of Custard The Dragon” and “Santa's Enchanted Village.” The three shorts are also really bad holiday entertainment, but the RiffTrax commentary makes them more enjoyable to watch.

The one good aspect going for “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny” is the beautiful black, white and red poster art created for the film of Santa in the fire truck with the ice cream bunny. This poster is likely a sought after collector's item for fans of bad movies.

For a much better holiday feature by Mahon, see the animated “Santa and The Three Bears” (1970).

This review was originally published in the Standard-Examiner newspaper. Art by Steve D. Stones.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny ... It NEEDS riffs

By Steve D. Stones

I thought I had seen all the terrible Christmas movies to be watched, until I recently saw “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny.” The folks at RiffTrax, formerly Mystery Science Theatre 3000, provided hilarious commentary about the film on the evening of Thursday December 3. Without their commentary, I may have walked out of the theatre. The movie is so bad that it is not listed in any film encyclopedia I own. No film critic seems to be anxious to write about “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny.” It is on the Internet Movie Database.

Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny at IMDB

Somehow Santa ends up stranded on the beaches of Florida soaking up the sun in his sleigh. His reindeer have abandoned him. He calls on some local children to help him get his sleigh back in operation. Each child is called by their name, except one little girl Santa calls "Kid." The children bring farm animals one by one to try and attach to Santa's sleigh. None of the farm animals, including a sheep and donkey, wants to be hitched to the sleigh.

The children suggest that Santa take a plane back to the North Pole, but he refuses to leave his sleigh abandoned. He complains about the Florida heat and sheds some of his clothing. Since Santa's sleigh is empty, the viewer is confused as to whether or not Christmas is over, or if Santa is just behind in delivering presents to children for Christmas.

With the failed attempt to get his sleigh in operation, Santa decides to take a rest and tell the children a story. Suddenly, the movie abruptly shifts to the story of Jack and The Beanstalk. This sequence was produced by Barry Mahon, a director who made soft-core sex features and films about fairy tales appealing to children. Other prints of “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny” insert Mahon's Thumbelina (1970).

Jack purchases some seeds from Honest John — a cow salesman. Jack lives in a land where everyone is dressed like the Partridge Family. What follows is a series of bad musical performances by little Jack and the giant he steals a golden goose and harp from. Jack stands in front of out-of-focus, rear-projected images of the giant as he attempts to steal the poorly sculpted paper mache goose and harp on the table in front of the sleeping giant.

As the story of Jack and The Beanstalk finishes, Santa reappears on the Florida beach with the children. Suddenly, an antique fire truck driven by someone in a bad bunny costume appears to take Santa back to the North Pole.

This ice cream bunny makes the evil bunny in “Donnie Darko” (2001) look like the Trix rabbit or Bugs Bunny. He drives the fire truck like a drunken clown, nearly running over a dog and steering into pot holes. The most freaky part is when the bunny winks at a little girl who runs up to him after the fire truck arrives on the beach.

Before “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny,” RiffTrax screened three Christmas shorts — “Santa Claus's Story,” “The Tales of Custard The Dragon” and “Santa's Enchanted Village.” The three shorts are also really bad holiday entertainment, but the RiffTrax commentary makes them more enjoyable to watch.

The one good aspect going for “Santa and The Ice Cream Bunny” is the beautiful black, white and red poster art created for the film of Santa in the fire truck with the ice cream bunny. This poster is likely a sought after collector's item for fans of bad movies.

For a much better holiday feature by Mahon, see the animated “Santa and The Three Bears” (1970).

This review was originally published in the Standard-Examiner newspaper. Art by Steve D. Stones.

Rifftrax does Plan 9 From Outer Space live

By Steve D. Stones

Earlier in the summer, I had the opportunity to see my favorite cult
film of all time, Plan 9 From Outer Space, on the big screen at a new
library in my community. It has been a life-long dream of mine to see
Plan 9 on the big screen. That dream came true twice this summer with
the Rifftrax special engagement of Plan 9 From Outer Space, which played
in theaters for one screening only on Thursday August 20th. Rifftrax is
presented by three comic geniuses, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill
Corbett, who were responsible for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 TV
program, which aired from 1988 to 1999. In recent years, all three have
also been involved in a project known as The Film Crew.

When I purchased a ticket and arrived at the movie theater, I was not
aware that the Rifftrax screening would be in “real time.” I assumed it
was pre-recorded like any other film playing in a movie theater. My
first clue should have been that it was a one-time screening, and that
the ticket cost $12.50. With that price, I thought perhaps I was
attending a rock concert of some washed up 1980s Heavy Metal band. Not
that I’m complaining. The screening was well worth the ticket price.

Broadcast from the music capitol of the world, Nashville, Tennessee, the
screening began with a music performance encouraging audience members to
sing, “All we want to do is eat your brains!!” Then, a 1940s short
entitled: The Flying Stewardesses was shown. It seemed appropriate to
screen this short, since Plan 9 casts a stewardess, played by Norma
McCarty. The short was hilarious. Nelson, Murphy and Corbett kept the
audience busy with laughter. My own laughter brought me to tears with
many of their comments. I have never attended a movie where the audience
members were laughing so frequently. This was a lot of fun!

As I watched the Rifftrax Plan 9, I observed that many of the comments
made were some of the same comments Mike Nelson makes for the commentary
of the colorized version of Plan 9, put out by Legend Films. For
example, in the opening scene where Bela Lugosi is attending the funeral
of his wife Vampira, Nelson observes that you can see Lugosi’s heroine
kick in as he begins to express emotion for the loss of his wife. Or,
as Criswell opens the film, Nelson makes the comment “Keep those cue
cards steady for Criswell.” Also, as pilots Gregory Walcott and David
DeMering sit inside a barren ply wood cockpit, Nelson says: “Look at all
that instrumentation! How do these pilots keep track of anything?”

My only disappointment with the Rifftrax screening of Plan 9 is that
they used the same colorized version of the film that was put out by
Legend Films. It was obvious to me because in the scene where Mona
McKinnon is lying on her bed in a night gown as the phone rings, you can
see one of the pictures hanging on the wall behind her bed has been
changed to a color photo of a couple. That picture is not in the
original black and white print of the film, and was inserted by the
folks at Legend Films as a gag. I much rather prefer the black and white
print of Plan 9.

Although Rifftrax already has a Plan 9 DVD out on the market for sale,
it will be interesting to see if they release this one time screening
version onto DVD in the near future. Perhaps Criswell once made the
prediction: “In the near future, I predict Rifftrax will release a Plan
9 DVD version that will entertain you for years to come!”