Mesa of Lost Women is kitsch, but it has 'Tarantella'!

 

By Steve D. Stones 

Just how bad is Mesa of Lost Women? Well, I may be the wrong person to answer this question, since I’m a peddler of bad cinema. Even by my standards, Mesa of Lost Women is pretty bad. 

With two directors at the helm, Mesa should have turned out so much better. The growing cult surrounding the film may be a result of many principle players of the film having ties to Ed Wood. For example, Lyle Talbot, star of Wood’s Jail Bait, Glen or Glenda and Plan 9 From Outer Space, narrates the film. The annoying music score by Hoyt Curtin is used in both Mesa and Jail Bait. The lovely Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon star as spider girls. 

However, this film is much more difficult to watch than any Ed Wood film, which is saying a lot. Another cult aspect of the film has to do with the casting of George Barrows as a sanitarium nurse. Barrows is the actor who put on a gorilla suit and scuba helmet to star as Ro-Man in the infamous Robot Monster. Barrows went on to play another gorilla named Anatole in Hillbillies In A Haunted House. 

Jackie Coogan, who went on to star as Uncle Fester in The Adams Family television show, plays Dr. Arana. Arana conducts experiments in a secret laboratory in the Muerto Desert on beautiful women and spiders. Dr. Leland Masterson, the worst actor in the film, is invited to Arana’s lab to witness some of Arana’s experiments and findings. Arana explains to Masterson that he can inject beautiful women with a growth hormone from spiders, which makes the women become indestructible. Masterson accuses Arana of being mad, so Arana injects him with the growth hormone, which causes him to go insane. 

Somehow Masterson escapes Arana’s lab, ends up in a Mexican insane asylum and then escapes from the asylum in less than ten seconds of screen time. He then makes an appearance at a local Mexican cantina where he becomes infatuated with a pretty blonde, played by Mary Hill. The blonde is getting married later that evening to her much older fiancé. The two sit at a cantina table as Masterson joins them. Masterson’s nurse, played by George Barrows, then joins them at the table in an attempt to take Masterson back to the local sanitarium. 

(Mesa of Lost Woman usually played -- often in the southern United States -- on double bills as the second feature. Below are a couple of old newspaper clips of it in release. It served as a double feature to Barbara Payton in Bad Blonde in a drive in at the Wichita Daily Times, in Wichita, Texas. Note that in one clip, from the Greenville Daily Democrat in Mississippi, it is referred to as Lost Women. That was during its later re-release. In that clip Barbara Payton is not only mistakenly touted as a star in the film, her last name is misspelled. Above is an example of Mesa of Lost Women actually headlining at a southern states drive in in Lubbock Texas' Morning Avalanche.)

One of Dr. Arana’s spider girls named Tarantella, played by the beautiful Tandra Quinn, performs a very bizarre dance in front of the patrons in the cantina. In a fit of rage, Masterson kills Tarantella with a gunshot, and then takes the bride, her husband and Barrows hostage.

 

I could go on and on with the plot of Mesa of Lost Women, but you get the point in just how bad it is. It should also be noted that Howco Productions, that produced Mesa of Lost Women, also produced Ed Wood’s Jail Bait. This may be the reason why the Hoyt Curtain score is used in both films, and why many of the same actors are used. 

If Ed Wood had directed this film, I feel it would have turned out much better, which may not be saying much. At least the bad elements of an Ed Wood film are funny, campy and enjoyable to watch. The bad elements of Mesa of Lost Women could never rise to Ed Wood’s level of “bad cinema” excellence.

Ed Wood directs Jail Bait, the film with a twist ending

Jail Bait, 1954, 72 minutes, Howco, B and W. Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. Starring Lyle Talbot as Inspector John, Dolores Fuller as Marilyn Gregor, Herbert Rawlinson as Dr. Boris Gregor, Steve Reeves as Lt. Bob Lawrence, Clancy Malone as Don Gregor, Timothy Farrell as Vic Brady, Theodora Thurman as Loretta, Bud Osborne as the night watchman, and Mona McKinnon as Miss Willis. Conrad Brooks has a cameo. Schlock-Meter rating: 8 and 1/2 stars out of 10.

Jail Bait is a cult film lover's delight. It's Ed Wood's first foray into crime pictures, and except for a very annoying musical score, it's not a half-bad film. Of course, it has Wood's mark of organized chaos, where he simply didn't have the budget to make this picture, but that just adds to the viewing fun.

The plot concerns a young man gone bad from a nice family (Malone) and his sinister confederate in crime (Farrell, who really is good in the role). Malone is eventually killed by Farrell, who then takes the slain gangster's sister (Fuller) and father (Rawlinson) hostage. The dad is a plastic surgeon, and he has a few tricks up the sleeve for Farrell at the end of the film. Talbot and strongman Reeves (in his first film) play cops assigned to catch Malone and Farrell. Theodora Thurman, who was a top model in the 1950s, plays Farrell's moll. (According to the new book on Wood's films, Malone delivered Wood's groceries prior to his sole acting credit.)

The acting is, of course, weak, and Wood hurries through each scene, reflecting the tiny budget. But Wood's eccentric personality is on full display. Depending on which print you view, action is interrupted for a minstrel show or a very faded scene of a striptease. (my copy shows the striptease) Also the climax of the film takes place at a motel, where Wood stole shots. Wood tries hard to achieve a type of film noir atmosphere, and almost succeeds at times, particularly with Farrell.

Like any Wood film, the story behind the movie is just as interesting as the film. Watch silent film star Rawlinson very closely during his scenes as the aging dad/plastic surgeon. If he appears tired it shouldn't be a surprise. He died the morning after filming. Rawlinson's role, in fact, was intended for Bela Lugosi, but he was too sick to do it. Also, Reeves took 27 takes to tie his tie, which must have driven the thrifty Wood mad. The great actor Jimmy Cagney was visiting the motel where Wood and cast was stealing a scene shot. Cagney offered to be in the film, but everyone was chased from the motel by the irate manager. If you are a Wood fan, buy Jail Bait. It's a must for your cult films collection. But even those who aren't Wood fans will find it worth a $2 rental. By the way: Jail Bait in the title refers to a gun, not a woman.

Watch "Jail Bait" here.

-- Doug Gibson

Another review of that surreal Ed Wood classic, 'Glen Or Glenda'

Glen Or Glenda, 1952, 67 minutes, BW, Screen Classics Productions. Directed by Edward D. Wood Jr.. Starring Bela Lugosi, Daniel Davis (Ed Wood), Lyle Talbot, Dolores Fuller, Timothy Farrell, Tommy Haines, Charles Crofts, Conrad Brooks, Captain DeZita. Schlock-Meter rating: 9 stars out of 10.

By Doug Gibson

I first saw Glen Or Glenda? when a copy of the video arrived as part of the press kit for the mid-90s film "Ed Wood." The copy was murky, very dark and difficult to understand. It also ended abruptly without any final credits. As a result, I wasn't too impressed.

However, I learned later there were better versions available with more of the film so I invested $10 and purchased Rhino Home Video's print. I saw a much different film that is a must for Ed Wood fans and an excellent addition to any cult movie library.

Like any other Ed Wood film, it's a ridiculous story, incomprehensible at times and very poorly acted. However, like any Ed Wood film, it is unique and the actors surprisingly inspired. The plot: A transvestite commits suicide while in drag. A cop talks with a psychiatrist, who tells the cop that society must seek to understand transvestites and those who seek to change their sex. The psychiatrist tells the cop two stories: One is of a secret tranvestite (Davis/Wood) who wants desperately to wear his fiance's (Fuller) angora sweater. The other tale recounted is of a WW 2 war hero (Haines) who wants a sex change operation. All of this is sort of overseen by a spirit (Lugosi) who sits in a chair covered with fishing net and ominously spouts nonsense like "snips and tails and puppy dog tails," "pull the string," and "the story must be told."

The acting is just awful. Wood's girlfriend Fuller doesn't rise to the level of an eighth grader playing Juliet. The scene of her expressing her mental torment when Wood asks to wear her sweater is pure camp. Throughout the film the uninhibited Wood strolls through Hollywood dressed in drag looking in store windows. The dialogue is atrocious: "Give this man satin undies ... and he can be a credit to his community and his government." Like many micro-budget productions, much of the film utilizes voice-over narration.

Still, it's a great cult fim and merits its nine stars on the schlock-meter. Wood's creative chaos is in full force and it makes for deliriously entertaining scenes. Stock footage just swirls throughout this fun film. There are shots of buffalo stampedes, steel mills pushing out hot metal, military battles, kids playing ball and more. Wood's frenetic energy keeps the pace fast. Indeed, the only time the film slows down is a few moments of cheescake semi-bondage scenes of women in underwear (not directed by Wood) that producer George Weiss added for the "raincoat" crowd.

Cult movie fans will love the montage scenes where Glen dreams of telling his fiance of his secret. He's attacked by all his friends including the devil, delightfully performed by DeZita.

Glen or Glenda? as silly as it is, was actually a fairly courageous topic for Wood to tackle in 1952. It's pomposity and lack-of-tact direction made it a cult film rather quickly. Indeed, it was haunting midnight movie houses in New York by the 1970s. 60 years ago, very few would imagine it would still be viewed often today. Watch it below:

Mesa of Lost Woman -- Howco regional craziness

By Doug Gibson

I just watched the Howco so-bad-it's-good mini-budget classic "Mesa of Lost Women." Plot in a nutshell: A couple is found near death wandering in the desert near Mexico. The man, a pilot, recounts a bizarre tale of escaping a 600 foot mesa in the Mexican desert -- they crash-landed -- where a mad scientist, Dr. Aranya (Jackie Coogan) turns insects, particularly spiders, into beautiful women and dwarfish, disfigured men. While he's recounting his tale, a stereotypical Mexican nods somberly and knowingly. The tale, in flashback involves several characters, including Dr. Masterson, a colleague of Aranya driven mad played atrociously by an actor named Harmon Sevens. There is also Dr. Aranya's prized creation, Tarantella, a tarantula turned sexy dish played by Tandria Quinn. Throughout the entire a flamenco guitar musical score from Hoyt Curtin assaults the viewers' senses. It's so grating as to almost unbearable. Ed Wood fans who have seen "Jail Bait," another Howco regional cheapie, will recognize the score. It's the same.

I don't want to dwell any more on the plot. The film must be seen to be fully impacted and comprehended, as Ed Wood might write! It was a Howco release, the company run by AJ White and Joy Houck, the latter owned a lot of drive-in theaters in the south and I'm sure "Mesa" played at everyone. The film, includes Wood's then girlfriend, Dolores Fuller, in a small role. The special effects are a hoot. There's a cheap model of a plan "flying" through air as it prepares to "crash" on the mesa. A giant spider on the mesa that's allegedly killing everyone wouldn't pass muster in a second-rate haunted house. Stereotypes abound, including the sexy insect women and their gnarlish insect men. Dr. Aranya explains the transformation difference is because females are better spiders than males.

Two directors are listed, Herbert Tevos and Ron Ormond. It seems Tevos started the film but was eventually canned and replaced by Ormond, a colorful figure who progressed from cheap science fiction to cheap near-nudies and eventually closed his career making sadistic Christian films for southern hell-fire-and-damnation congregations that in loving detail recounted the burning horrors that awaited sinners who chose Sunday afternoon football over church services. Eventually, I'll get around to reviewing the Ormond family's Christian scare films of the 1970s.

Despite its low budget and ridiculous plot, "Mesa" sort of resembles "Island of Lost Souls" with Coogan's Dr. Aranya playing the Dr. Moreau role. The film, as bad as it is, is a lot of fun, even with the jarring musical score. (The only worse score I have heard is the awful "For Love or Money" song from the 1967 Ed Wood-involved nudie of the same name.)  I like to imagine that Ed Wood, working for Howco at the time, might have contributed a bit to the final product. One of the campies scenes has the sexy Tantarella, who I guess is a stand in for Kathleen Burke's "The Panther Woman," doing a hoochie dance at a dusty Mexican cantina. In the Medved Brothers' "Son of Golden Turkey Awards," the film was named "Most Primitive Male Fantasy." I almost forgot to mention that veteran low-budget actor Lyle Talbot, another Wood actor, provided the narration.

Jail Bait, the Ed Wood film that missed Tim Burton's cut

Jail Bait, 1954, 72 minutes, Howco, B&W. Directed by Edward D. Wood, Jr. Starring Lyle Talbot as Inspector John, Dolores Fuller as Marilyn Gregor, Herbert Rawlinson as Dr. Boris Gregor, Steve Reeves as Lt. Bob Lawrence, Clancy Malone as Don Gregor, Timothy Farrell as Vic Brady, Theodora Thurman as Loretta, Bud Osborne as the night watchman, and Mona McKinnon as Miss Willis. Conrad Brooks has a cameo. Schlock-Meter rating: 8 and 1/2 stars out of 10.

Jail Bait is a cult film lover's delight. It's Ed Wood's first foray into crime pictures, and except for a very annoying musical score, it's not a half-bad film. Of course, it has Wood's mark of organized chaos, where he simply didn't have the budget to make this picture, but that just adds to the viewing fun. It's the film Ed Wood made in his heyday that Tim Burton did not include in his bio-pic "Ed Wood."

The plot concerns a young man gone bad from a nice family (Malone) and his sinister confederate in crime (Farrell, who really is good in the role). Malone is eventually killed by Farrell, who then takes the slain gangster's sister (Fuller) and father (Rawlinson) hostage. The dad is a plastic surgeon, and he has a few tricks up the sleeve for Farrell at the end of the film. Talbot and strongman Reeves (in his first film) play cops assigned to catch Malone and Farrell. Theodora Thurman, who was a top model in the 1950s, plays Farrell's moll.

The acting is, of course, weak, and Wood hurries through each scene, reflecting the tiny budget. But Wood's eccentric personality is on full display. Depending on which print you view, action is interrupted for a minstrel show or a very faded scene of a striptease. (my copy shows the striptease) Also the climax of the film takes place at a motel, where Wood stole shots. Wood tries hard to achieve a type of film noir atmosphere, and almost succeeds at times, particularly with Farrell.

Like any Wood film, the story behind the movie is just as interesting as the film. Watch silent film star Rawlinson very closely during his scenes as the aging dad/plastic surgeon. If he appears tired it shouldn't be a surprise. He died the morning after filming. Rawlinson's role, in fact, was intended for Bela Lugosi, but he was too sick to do it. Also, Reeves took 27 takes to tie his tie, which must have driven the thrifty Wood mad. The great actor Jimmy Cagney was visiting the motel where Wood and cast was stealing a scene shot. Cagney offered to be in the film, but everyone was chased from the motel by the irate manager. If you are a Wood fan, buy Jail Bait. It's a must for your cult films collection. But even those who aren't Wood fans will find it worth a $2 rental. By the way: Jail Bait in the title refers to a gun, not a woman.

-- Doug Gibson

Jail Bait – An Early Ed Wood Classic

By Steve D. Stones

You have to hand it to Ed Wood. He had a way of creating interesting feature length films lacking in talent, acting skill and budgets. Plan 9 From Outer Space is considered his worst film of all time, yet it may be his most entertaining and enduring. His early classic – Jail Bait, borrows from earlier “film noir” crime classics, such as Little Caesar and Scarface. If you recognize the score in Jail Bait, it’s because it was featured in another early 50s cult classic – Mesa of Lost Women, a film that also has a distinction of being one of the “worst films of all time.” The Hoyt Kurtain score really gets under your skin, annoying the viewer with its overblown repetition, much like it does in Mesa of Lost Women.

Wood’s sweetheart Dolores Fuller starred in both Jail Bait and Mesa of Lost Women. Her role in Jail Bait was much meatier, but her acting career was short lived. She later went on to write songs for Elvis. Her autobiography was released in 2009 entitled: A Fuller Life - Hollywood, Ed Wood and Me - giving her account of her life with Ed Wood.  

Monotone voiced Timothy Farrell, who also starred in Wood’s Glen or Glenda, wants to hide his identity from the police after holding up a theater in Monterey Park, California. He employs the help of a plastic surgeon, played by Herbert Rawlinson in his last role, to change his facial features. Rawlinson agrees to the procedure, only to save the life of his son, who killed the night watchman at the Monterey Theater. Rawlinson later discovers that Farrell has already killed his son.

In a predictable “plot twist” the viewer can see coming from a mile away, Rawlinson changes Farrell’s face to look like his son, played by Clancy Malone. Farrell is now implicated for the killing of the night watchman at the Monterey Theater. The Los Angeles Police chase Farrell, and a gunshot kills him as he falls into a swimming pool.

It should be noted that beefcake weightlifter Steve Reeves, who went on to play Hercules, plays a police investigator in Jail Bait. He tries to put the moves on Dolores Fuller in the film, but she does not bite. An unrelated burlesque sequence was added to the film many years later, which was discovered when the long lost negative was found.  A VHS copy of Jail Bait released in the mid-1990s by Rhino Video contains the long lost burlesque sequence, and a DVD print by Passport Video also contains the lost sequence.

Oddly, director Tim Burton gives no mention of Jail Bait in his 1994 biopic of Ed Wood, starring Johnny Depp. Wood’s films, books and collectibles are today valuable gems for film buffs and collectors. Happy Viewing!!

Mesa of Lost Women

By Steve D. Stones

Just how bad is Mesa of Lost Women? Well, I may be the wrong person to
answer this question, since I’m a peddler of bad cinema. Even by my
standards, Mesa of Lost Women is pretty bad. With two directors at the
helm, Mesa should have turned out so much better.

The growing cult surrounding the film may be a result of many principle
players of the film having ties to Ed Wood. For example, Lyle Talbot,
star of Wood’s Jail Bait, Glen or Glenda and Plan 9 From Outer Space,
narrates the film. The annoying music score by Hoyt Curtin is used in
both Mesa and Jail Bait. The lovely Dolores Fuller and Mona McKinnon
star as spider girls. However, this film is much more difficult to watch
than any Ed Wood film, which is saying a lot.

Another cult aspect of the film has to do with the casting of George Barrows as a sanitarium nurse. Barrows is the actor who put on a gorilla suit and scuba helmet to star as Ro-Man in the infamous Robot Monster. Barrows went on to play another gorilla named Anatole in Hillbillies In A Haunted House.

Jackie Coogan, who went on to star as Uncle Fester in The Adams Family television show, plays Dr. Arana. Arana conducts experiments in a secret laboratory in the Muerto Desert on beautiful women and spiders.

Dr. Leland Masterson, the worst actor in the film, is invited to Arana’s
lab to witness some of Arana’s experiments and findings. Arana explains
to Masterson that he can inject beautiful women with a growth hormone
from spiders, which makes the women become indestructible. Masterson
accuses Arana of being mad, so Arana injects him with the growth
hormone, which causes him to go insane.

Somehow Masterson escapes Arana’s lab, ends up in a Mexican insane
asylum and then escapes from the asylum in less than ten seconds of
screen time. He then makes an appearance at a local Mexican cantina
where he becomes infatuated with a pretty blonde, played by Mary Hill.
The blonde is getting married later that evening to her much older
fiancé. The two sit at a cantina table as Masterson joins them.
Masterson’s nurse, played by George Barrows, then joins them at the
table in an attempt to take Masterson back to the local sanitarium. One
of Dr. Arana’s spider girls named Tarantella, played by the beautiful
Tandra Quinn, performs a very bizarre dance in front of the patrons in
the cantina. In a fit of rage, Masterson kills Tarantella with a
gunshot, and then takes the bride, her husband and Barrows hostage.

I could go on and on with the plot of Mesa of Lost Women, but you get
the point in just how bad it is. It should also be noted that Howco
Studios who produced Mesa of Lost Women also produced Ed Wood’s Jail
Bait. This may be the reason why the Hoyt Curtain score is used in both
films, and why many of the same actors are used. If Ed Wood had directed
this film, I feel it would have turned out much better, which may not be
saying much. At least the bad elements of an Ed Wood film are funny,
campy and enjoyable to watch. The bad elements of Mesa of Lost Women
could never rise to Ed Wood’s level of “bad cinema” excellence.