Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Steve's take on Best Worst Movie

BEST-WORST MOVIE: The dentist will see you now!

By Steve D. Stones

Just how does a popular and beloved dentist from Alabama, who also happens to star in the 1980s cult classic Troll II, spend his day? That is the subject of Michael Stephenson’s excellent documentary “Best-WorstMovie.” The documentary also focuses on the fanatical fan following of Troll II, and many interesting interviews of eccentric cast members. Dr. George Hardy is a great highlight of the documentary.

I remember seeing Troll II playing late one summer night on cable TV in the early 1990s. I didn’t think much of it, and immediately switched the channel. “This movie really stinks,” I remember thinking to myself. Boy
was I wrong! Now after seeing it a dozen times or so and becoming a big fan, I realize my initial judgment was too harsh and quick.

The great thing about “bad movies” is that they cannot be intellectually defended as great entertainment, or even great works of art, for that
matter. However, they are like a sick lost puppy that you want to take
home and nurse back to health, even though you know the pup will never
survive. You learn to develop a personal “taste” for “bad movies” over
time. Fans of Troll II have definitely nursed it back to health, and it
has survived as a cult phenomenon.

Best-Worst Movie is a documentary that even non-cultists can enjoy,
although it does help to be a fan of Troll II. It is truly amazing to
see that screenings of the film in big city venues in recent years have
sold out to standing room only crowds. The collectibles associated with
the film, such as t-shirts, buttons and posters have also done quite
well. I’m happy to report that I’m a proud owner of a Troll II-NILBOG
Invasion poster from the Morgan, Utah Festival last summer in 2008. I
proudly hang it in my living room.

Best Worst is full of many humorous and insightful moments that hold the
viewer’s attention. Dr. Hardy roller-skating as the tooth fairy is one
particularly hilarious moment. He walks into a local video store and
asks the clerk behind the counter where he can find a copy of Troll II
to rent. The clerk informs him that “It’s in the Holy F*cking Sh*t
section.” Now that is funny!! I just about spit my dinner everywhere as
I was watching this scene.

While attending a horror movie convention to promote Troll II, Dr. Hardy
observes that many horror fans walking around have a bad case of
gingivitis. His dentist instincts seem to follow him everywhere he goes.
He also becomes gravely sickened by many of the displays by vendors at
the convention. He tells the cameraman at the airport that he’s glad
director Claudio Fragasso is not around so that he can steal the
spotlight for the day. This is one funny and interesting man! Everyone
loves him, even his ex-wife.

As the documentary comes to an end, Dr. Hardy reveals some truthful and
insightful information. He tells us that he has grown tired of repeating
and acting out his now famous “You can’t piss on hospitality! I won’t
allow it” line from the film. He goes on to say that it has become too
boring and predictable for him to recite that line over and over again
for fans, and wonders if Celine Dion feels the same way in singing the
theme song for Titanic thousands of times. I would have to say that I
have every intention of watching Best-Worst Movie over and over again,
and will enjoy it every time I view it. I hope you will enjoy it too.

To watch Troll 2 go to

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